I never expected to get into theater. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, but rather because being an adult often means sacrificing things we want to do in lieu of managing life’s other obligations. By happenstance, I found myself acting in my first theater production as an adult a few years back with our fearless director, Pauliina, which solidified my interest in and love of theater. That friendship is also the reason I am writing this post for part our current production, “The Baltimore Waltz,” written by the great Paula Vogel.
Acting has a way of forcing you to question your character’s place in society. This production was written and also takes place in the 80’s at the peak of the AIDS crisis, and my character, Carl, is loosely based on Paula Vogel’s brother who also passed away from AIDS-related complications during this time. Playing Carl has necessitated that I put myself in his shoes and think a lot about what it must have been like to live as a gay person in the 80’s.
A number of thoughts came to me as I read through the play for the first time, and also continue to come to me repeatedly in rehearsals, when running lines, and when going about my daily activities. Carl’s real-life story feels at once familiar and foreign to me; as a gay man born in the 90’s, I entered adulthood at a time when modern medicine had already made living with HIV not only possible, but also very manageable. However, HIV is still a highly stigmatized illness and continues to affect the lives of gay people everywhere.
I’m humbled to play Carl in the year of the 30th anniversary of his death. Beyond grappling with HIV in society, Carl also deals with a number of other nuanced aspects of being a gay man. Getting into Carl’s head has caused a number of my own experiences to bubble to the surface, which I’ve had to find a way to channel into deepening the characterization of Carl. Things like fear of coming out, feelings of shame or uneasiness in certain environments, and grappling with the feelings of hatred and fear mongering that are lobbed at us, both when we know they’re coming and when we least expect them, are part of my own history as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and have very much informed how I portray and understand Carl.
It’s 2018. The gay community has reached a number of milestones, both in Finland and elsewhere in the world, but achieving marriage equality does not mean that we can simply sit down and accept that we’ve achieved everything that we need to achieve in order to make the world a more equitable place. While much has changed since the 80’s, let “The Baltimore Waltz” serve as a reminder that we’re still here and we’re still fighting.
I’m super excited to be able to share what we’ve been working with you, especially since the themes are so central to my own experiences. Come and see a show! I promise you won’t be disappointed!
-Austin
Acting has a way of forcing you to question your character’s place in society. This production was written and also takes place in the 80’s at the peak of the AIDS crisis, and my character, Carl, is loosely based on Paula Vogel’s brother who also passed away from AIDS-related complications during this time. Playing Carl has necessitated that I put myself in his shoes and think a lot about what it must have been like to live as a gay person in the 80’s.
A number of thoughts came to me as I read through the play for the first time, and also continue to come to me repeatedly in rehearsals, when running lines, and when going about my daily activities. Carl’s real-life story feels at once familiar and foreign to me; as a gay man born in the 90’s, I entered adulthood at a time when modern medicine had already made living with HIV not only possible, but also very manageable. However, HIV is still a highly stigmatized illness and continues to affect the lives of gay people everywhere.
I’m humbled to play Carl in the year of the 30th anniversary of his death. Beyond grappling with HIV in society, Carl also deals with a number of other nuanced aspects of being a gay man. Getting into Carl’s head has caused a number of my own experiences to bubble to the surface, which I’ve had to find a way to channel into deepening the characterization of Carl. Things like fear of coming out, feelings of shame or uneasiness in certain environments, and grappling with the feelings of hatred and fear mongering that are lobbed at us, both when we know they’re coming and when we least expect them, are part of my own history as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and have very much informed how I portray and understand Carl.
It’s 2018. The gay community has reached a number of milestones, both in Finland and elsewhere in the world, but achieving marriage equality does not mean that we can simply sit down and accept that we’ve achieved everything that we need to achieve in order to make the world a more equitable place. While much has changed since the 80’s, let “The Baltimore Waltz” serve as a reminder that we’re still here and we’re still fighting.
I’m super excited to be able to share what we’ve been working with you, especially since the themes are so central to my own experiences. Come and see a show! I promise you won’t be disappointed!
-Austin